Photographed by Priyanca Rao | Legacy Empowerment Project | Author, Speaker & South Asian American Parenting Advocate
Punam V. Saxena Is Giving South Asian Women Permission to Be Heard
There is a particular kind of loneliness in being the only one. The only Indian kid in school. The only one without a peer to ask, is this normal, is this bullying, is this just what happens to us. Punam V. Saxena carried that loneliness for most of her life, quietly, the way so many South Asian women are taught to carry things. Today, as an author, TED speaker, doctor of education, and South Asian women’s community builder, she’s making sure no one has to carry it alone again.
The Girl Who Had No One to Ask
Punam grew up in rural Georgia, the only South Asian kid in her school, with no one but her younger brother to turn to when she needed to ask if what she was feeling was real. Was this special treatment, or was it bullying? Was she imagining it, or was something actually happening to her? There was no one to check it against.
Decades later, that absence is exactly what she’s building toward. Not just a resource, but a room full of people who already understand, before she even finishes the sentence.
“That’s what I’m building. That validation, that community where we can say, oh wait, I too have experienced something like that.”
Selective Cultural Integration
After thirty years in classrooms and school advocacy, Punam noticed the same quiet struggle repeating itself across South Asian American families: parents doing on-the-job training in a country that wasn’t built with them in mind, one foot planted here and the other still tugging back toward India. Her own parents arrived in the 1960s, when there were only four thousand Indians in the entire country. Today there are four million.
Her doctoral research gave the pattern a name: selective cultural integration, the ongoing question of which parts of a culture get carried forward into the next generation, and which quietly fall away. Her book grew out of that question, and out of raising her own children in a life she describes as quasi-Indian, quasi-American. The goal was never academic achievement or the “right” career. It was something simpler, and harder to measure.
“What can we do to make them the best person, so that they have the values that we want and believe are important?
Trickle-Up Communication
Questioning a parent’s decisions from decades ago is close to unthinkable in South Asian culture, where respect for elders leaves little room for that kind of conversation. Punam found a way, not by confronting her parents, but by asking, gently and without blame, whether they remembered a particular moment from her childhood.
Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn’t. But the asking itself, done with curiosity instead of accusation, changed the entire dynamic between them, including with a father she describes as deeply patriarchal at the time
“When we ask out of curiosity instead of blame, we have a conversation.
The Model Minority Question
Punam is direct about the cost of the model minority stereotype: the doctor, lawyer, or engineer track, the right house, the right car, the constant, quiet one-upping. She’s watched people follow that script all the way to the end and arrive somewhere they never actually wanted to be, in one case, a man who spent thirty years teaching a subject he never enjoyed, until his health broke down entirely.
Her challenge to anyone still inside that framework starts with a single question, one most people have never actually let themselves answer honestly.
“Are you happy doing what you’re doing?”
A Safe Haven for South Asian Women
Indian women, Punam says, are notorious for hiding their struggles behind a picture-perfect exterior. Someone once told her that her children seemed so perfect. Her real answer was that her home is where they get to stop performing, a safe space behind a door that, from the outside, still looked flawless.
She’s building that same permission for grown women now: a South Asian women’s community where women can set down the performance of invincibility and actually be seen, mess and all.
“We can talk about those vulnerabilities, we can support each other, we can share our stories, we can cry, and we can be okay.”
Permission to Be Imperfect
Punam has never believed she was perfect, but she spent decades acting like she had to be, adding invisible layers of stress on top of a life that was already full: four children only four and a half years apart, one set of twins, a doctorate, and a career, all happening at once. Her rule at home became, if you’re not in crisis, then you’re not being managed.
It wasn’t until later, in conversation with her own parents, that she learned the pressure she’d carried for so long had never actually come from them. They told her plainly that they never wanted her to be perfect. They just wanted her to be happy.
“I’ve finally given myself permission, and it’s liberating. We get to be who we want to be, and that’s really powerful.”
Moving Our Mothers’ Dreams Forward
Ask Punam why legacy has historically belonged to men, and she doesn’t soften the answer: in a patriarchal society, women are valued for keeping the family going, not for what they build beyond it. But she also believes something has shifted. Women today have the rare luxury of building a legacy that reflects the fullness of who they are, not just the caretaking, but the voice, the skill, the passion underneath it.
She traces her own confidence directly back to her mother, who always wanted more for her than she’d had for herself. To Punam, that’s what legacy actually is.
“Their legacy is that we are moving their dreams forward. Our job is to move that dream forward for our children.”
Stepping Into the Spotlight
Before the Legacy Project, Punam had only ever shared a polished, stage-ready version of her story, the TEDx Talk, the book tour highlights. Sitting down to break her life into chapters and be seen in the parts that never made it to a stage was something else entirely. She describes the process as a genuine turning point, one that surfaced questions she’d carried silently for most of her life: why she was in America, why she was Indian American, whether she was ever really enough.
Being in front of the camera pushed her further still. She came in nervous, unsure how to let her full self show up. What she left with was a rediscovered love of the heirloom jewelry and bold colors of herself she’d quietly packed away for years, and a version of her story she’d never let herself tell out loud before.
“You gave me permission to be me, who I am today.”
Looking back on the experience, Punam says it changed how she gets dressed every single day since, and reminded her that no one gives themselves permission to simply be. You have to take it.
Punam V. Saxena’s Legacy Project Experience
“You gave me permission to be me, who I am today.”
Participating in the Legacy Project became a genuine turning point for Punam, one that surfaced questions she’d carried silently for most of her life: why she was in America, why she was Indian American, whether she was ever really enough. She’d never had a peer to bring those questions to, and her own parents, new to the country themselves, hadn’t been equipped to hold them either. Sitting with those questions, fully seen, for the first time, changed something permanent in her.
Through education, advocacy, and the South Asian women’s community, Punam shows that legacy isn’t about performing perfection for an audience. It’s about finally putting down the performance altogether. Her journey proves that the most powerful thing a woman can build isn’t a flawless image. It’s a room where no one has to fake one.
About the Legacy Project
The Legacy Project was created by Priyanca Rao, an award winning branding photographer who believes every woman’s story deserves to be seen, celebrated, and remembered.
More than pretty photos, it is an opportunity to reflect on your journey, share the experiences that shaped you, and create a lasting record of the legacy you are building. Through thoughtful conversation and luxury branding photography, you’ll walk away with powerful portraits that reflect not just what you’ve achieved, but who you are.
The Legacy Project celebrates women whose stories inspire others and reminds future generations that every life leaves an impact.
Apply to be part of the Legacy Project here.
Work With Punam
Punam works with individuals and organizations ready to build community and legacy with intention, offering connection calls to identify gaps, align with mission and values, and develop strategies for outreach and engagement that are built to last for generations, not just a single event or season.
About Punam V. Saxena
Punam V. Saxena is an author, doctor of education, TED speaker, and advocate with over thirty years of experience in classrooms and school advocacy. Her research and writing center on selective cultural integration, the process by which second-generation Americans choose which parts of their heritage to carry forward and instill in the next generation.
She is the mother of four children, including a set of twins, and draws on her own experience navigating a “quasi-Indian, quasi-American” life to help other South Asian families build healthier, more honest relationships across generations. She is currently building a community platform for South Asian women centered on vulnerability, mental health, and belonging, a space where women can set aside the pressure of the model minority stereotype and be fully, imperfectly themselves.
Punam continues to speak and write on parenting, cultural identity, and legacy, with a mission to make sure no South Asian woman has to navigate any of it alone.
Connect with Punam | Author, Speaker & South Asian American Parenting Advocate:
Read more:
How to make your business stand out from your competition and let your super power shine.
Read Legacy maker Tiana Woolridge’s story and how she took a personal story and turned it into empowerment.
As part of the Legacy Empowerment Project by Priyanca Rao, we were honored to photograph Punam V. Saxena, an inspiring author, speaker, and South Asian American parenting advocate whose work aligns deeply with our mission to celebrate women in leadership through intentional, powerful legacy making imagery. Priyanca Rao Photography specializes in CEO headshots and personal branding photography tailored for women in executive, creative, and leadership roles, including, recruiters, CEOs, COOs, physicians, speakers, podcast hosts, small business owners and founders, thought leaders, Non-profit founders, HR professionals, experts, Womens wellness leaders, corporate c-suit executives, marketing executives, mentoring, therapists coaches, podcast cover headshots, actors, and authors. Known as a top NYC and Westchester photographer, Priyanca also serves clients throughout Connecticut (CT), New Jersey (NJ), and Long Island, delivering branding photos that elevate websites and social media presence. Whether you’re a founder, healer, or change maker, this women’s empowerment project continues to spotlight authentic voices through meaningful portraiture designed to help you stand out and lead with confidence. These Westchester and NYC small business branding headshots photos hopefully help inspire and empower other leaders who are entrepreneurial and want to grow their business. Know that you can do it too!
